“Learn to trust life, it will teach you, in joy and sorrow, all you need to know.” Henry James, author, “The Ambassadors”
So what did Henry James, and countless others, mean when they say, “learn to trust life?” Isn’t this naive, incredulous, ignorant, and represent unsophisticated thinking about the realities of life? Maybe so. Or maybe not. You the reader, have to be the judge, and it is probably one of the most important decisions you will make regarding your happiness.
What do we notice when a person has broken trust with life? To a greater or lesser degree we notice an over reliance on one’s self to mold or manipulate the day to day outcome of one’s life. This is by necessity exhausting, stressful, and frustrating because it doesn’t work very well. The meager victories come at a price. That price is depression, despair, fear; as life is interpreted as hostile or, at least, impersonal.
The rational conclusion of breaking trust is to act as if you are totally on your own. You become wound tight and always needing to be on guard for the next threat or danger. Most importantly, you lose your sense of presence as your mind races in anticipation of what could go wrong. You find yourself absent to the present moment and enter a state of alienation. You are alone in a hostile world. What better reason to be depressed?
Trusting life requires us to be both vulnerable and courageous. We learn to surrender to life even though our mind vehemently thinks this is nuts, and we can’t prove that it isn’t. Even when our life seems to “catch a break” and a perilous event is avoided, our critical mind wants to interpret this as “luck” or of our own doing. The idea that a benevolent Universe had anything to do with it is discounted.
On the other hand, sometimes perilous events do happen with the result of sorrow, pain, and suffering. This will happen whether we trust life or not. The human resiliency factor eventually comes into play. Can we find the good, the growth, even sometimes the good fortune in the suffering event? When we look, we are more likely to find and experience the essential goodness of life, even if it is bittersweet at times. We can’t help but see our own goodness in this as well.
The phrase, “surrender to life” requires some definition of what it is and what it is not. Surrender to life is not a defeatist attitude. Surrender, at its core, is the willingness to meet life as it is. At times, our whole being mentally resists how life is presenting itself, adversely, in this moment. For most of us, I suspect, this challenge to accept life as it is does not come easily. Clearly, we need to reflect on what can be changed, or what is worth fighting for. What comes next is finding the wisdom of knowing what potentially can be changed. This is empowering. Getting stuck in what cannot be changed is disempowering.
I would suggest that our quest over time is to come to a fuller understanding that everything, ultimately, fits together for our greater good, and for the good of the rest of all living things as well. Knowing that things are right with the Universe, and my part in it, brings joy, happiness, and serenity. This can only happen when we surrender to life as it is. In the ultimate sense, there is nothing we need to protect.